Monday, February 9, 2009

So I am back in St. George after a 3 week break and time back home in Franklin. I think I could have spent just a little too much time at home this break. Like mom said, I got comfortable in my old home routine. Wasn't having to do a lot for myself, just relaxed and was taken care of by my sweet mother for the most part. I am now back in utah and don't have plans to go home for a good visit in the near future. I am def struggling today missing home, and it has gotten me thinking about how much I miss home sometimes and when if ever that will go away. I love my job and wouldn't be living out here if I didn't, but sometimes I miss my family so much it hurts. And not just my family members, the way of life in Franklin, the comfort level I have there, the people I know. Being there for almost 11 years, it is hard to get up and go somewhere else all of a sudden, and to go alone is even harder. I'm not new to moving, but am new to moving on my own. I guess I am having a bad day and have been pretty weepy. I am praying that getting back into my work routine will help me get over a little of my homesickness...and some prayers for God to direct my heart. Realistically I think I will always be someone who misses home, until I have a real home of my own. I was raised in such an amazing family that it is only natural for me to miss that. I had hoped that writing all this down would help me, just by getting it out, and it has a little bit, but I don't know what will help me stop feeling this sad feeling today. Maybe I should just let myself be sad for a little while and then move on to my work week....

2 comments:

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry you've had a bad day. I'm sure it IS hard to adjust after being back home for so long. I bet you'll get to feeling a little better after you've been back in your Utah routine for a few days. We are sending you lots of Franklin love and praying for you on your shift!
xoxo

Di said...

Hi, Jessica. It's funny because although we have never met, I feel like I know you through your parents and Ashley. I have read about your journey to Utah, and I understand completely what homesickness is like. My family is back East and it hurts like heck because I'm here in California. I went out there in November and thought I would break in half when I had to leave and come back to MY family (even though I was looking forward to seeing my husband and my boys). The homesickness and "family sickness" never goes away completely, but I think you did the right thing by journaling. It's so healthy!!

What makes it hard (for me, and probably for you, too) is the kids. They are SO sweet and SO precious to us. They have such an unconditional love that it's hard NOT to be around them all the time. I can tell you're an awesome auntie, and the kids are SO lucky to have you in their lives...even if it is sporadically. Keep up the good work, and enjoy your time in Utah. If you ever get to Northern California, let me know. I'd LOVE the chance to FINALLY meet you!!! Take care.

Luv,
Di Abold