Last shift in the desert

Well, tomorrow I am heading into my last shift at Second Nature Entrada. It seems like just yesterday I was going into my first shift, shaking like a leaf on a tree. And that is pretty much how i'm leaving, just more tears this time.

Here is the post before my first week...

http://jesswashburn.blogspot.com/2008/08/headed-to-woods.html

How funny how time has changed, now I'm feeling the total opposite about being here. The Lord can be tricky that way.

I will be heading back to a group that I've worked in the past 4 shifts, so I've got some relationships with the girls and I spent my first week at entrada in Group 4, and my 1 year anniversary in Group 4, so it is only fitting that I end there. The therapist for G4 is an amazing man that I have built quite a relationship with and am happy to end it with him.

This top picture is from my second to last week when we got to hike in a river for a few miles...the second picture is from my first internship week when we hiked a 7,396 ft mountain

I will def have more posts next week hopefully as I am getting ready to leave the wonderful state of Utah.

We have think called Inservice every tuesday morning before going into the field and obviously tomorrow is my last one...Jp is doing a training and not working a regular work week, but is coming to inservice anyway to support me because she knows it will be an emotional thing for me. What a friend right!?

To Clarify

My earlier post today was pretty vague, so maybe I can clear things up so that people don't have to wonder and you can just know what's going on in Jessica Land.

I have 2 off shifts left here, so that is basically 12 days out of the field that I have left here. So, basically, not much time at all considering I have to prepare to LEAVE Utah for good and spend time with people I care about here and tie up all of my loose ends. I have done a lot and I guess the most overwhelming part is trying to squeeze time in with people and thinking that my time is dwindling so quickly and then...poof...I will be gone from their daily world and them from mine. I always knew I would move back to TN so when I left almost 2 years ago it wasn't like "bye forever". What really is the chance that I will ever live in the same town as these friends ever again, slim; so it is seeming very final, this upcoming goodbye.

So, my main struggle the past few months and really what I feel lately is, is do I push through these feelings and really make the most of my time here and make it harder to leave these wonderful wonderful people, or do I start pulling away from them to make leaving easier? I think this is something I have always struggled with, and now it seems like it is a daily debate with myself...stay or run?

Today I had a moment that really tested me, and I came close to just leaving and seperating myself and convincing myself that was the best choice for me. I was able to push through it and find some kind of resolution with it, and it was hard. And now there is more of a bond than there was yesterday bc of it...does that make sense? So, essentially that has made leaving just that much harder?

Ok, I am getting myself into a pity party. I guess I am daily dumbfounded at how hard this leaving Utah project is turning out to be. I think work this week will be a great distraction from all of it...or it just might force me to look at it...let's cross our fingers for distraction.

Speaking of distractions...I have been running a lot lately...5 days straight now to be exact! It is hard to run in the field, so 6 in a row is all I can do now. I am keeping it to 1-2 miles right now, but that is still enough for me. I am also now going daily to the sauna at my gym. If you have never done it, I suggest it! I love the feeling of so much leaving my body in the form of sweat. There are plenty of health benefits and I also enjoy the mental benefits of sitting still and focusing on my thoughts. I am trying to build up to staying in there for an hour. Right now I am at 37 mins with one break. I am doing it bc I love the feeling and also to work on my self discipline, being able to sit in an uncomfortable place(a good metephore for my life)

Ok, I'm really done. I need to get some sleep!

Need some Prayers

Hey to those who read this on a semi-regular basis. I'm having one of those days, and could use some prayers from some peace to come live in my heart. I am sure some of you will read this days after I read it, and I'm sure I will still need those prayers whenever you read it. Thanks to those who can send up some prayers for me.

-Jess

Easter Eggs!

One of my favorite things about spring time is Easter, and I think the south celebrates it more than most regions. It is an all day event for us southerners! So, last year I had to work on Easter and this year I will be again:( As sad as it is, it is really great to spend that day in nature and think of what Jesus was going through and how it all happened in nature. So, when I stop feeling sorry for myself, I realize I am probably getting more out of the day than most will.

Still, i am a fan of tradition and dying eggs is one of my favorite things to do! So, I found this kit that said it was super easy, so I bought it planning on doing it with JP, big surprise. So today she and I and her oldest son Taegyn boiled up some eggs and had a egg dying party! Jp and I probably had more fun than Tae did, but he was having fun too! Here are some pictures from our fun!

Hope everyone has a great Easter!!

Spring in the Desert

I have to say that spring time is my favorite season in the desert. Everything is in bloom and the heat is just right...not like the oven it can feel like in the summer time. I am so thankful that I get to spend another spring here before I leave Utah, maybe it wasn't the best timing that I leave during my favorite time...hmm. I got to work in our lower field area this week and it is about 10 degrees warmer than the upper field area where I have been ALL winter long. So, it was a welcomed break from the cold and snow. I actually got a little sun burned and I love it!! I took a nap one day and the sun felt so warm and comforting on my back, like a big blanket! Here are some pictures from the week.

The Lizards enjoy the warm rocks just as much as I do

Chaco weather! You can still see the snowy peaks in the distance

Happy to be at work!

First Duathlon in the books!

So, a few weeks ago I was in the middle of a great workout streak and decided that I was going to do a race. I proceeded to look up any races in the St. George area and found a Duathlon and for some reason felt compelled to sign up...so i DID!

It was a sprint distance; which means it was 1.5 mile run, 12 mile bike, then another 1.5 run. It was in a gorgeous area of town and part of our bike ride was in Snow Canyon State park...pictured below.

Today was race day and I have to say that I wasn't AS prepared as I could have been, but I had been running a lot in my off shifts and had biked a couple of times at the gym. My boss graciously let me borrow his wife's road bike so that I didn't have to ride my mountain bike..which are not fun to ride on roads for long distances!

I got there early this morning and got nervous right away when I saw a lot of serious looking competators and me strollin up without a helmet (oops) wearing my KVB jersey! So, I called dad and told him I needed a pep-talk and he sure did deliver (just like every other time!) So, I got off the phone remembering I'm a Washburn for heaven's sake!!! And that is something special.

My first run started off fine and I did my best to not let my competitive spirit get in the way of me having fun. I am usually hard on myself when I do races and don't let myself enjoy the journey, that theme was starting until I jumped on my bike, it was so much fun to ride that smooth bike through the beautiful red rock scenery and I had great music playing and found myself smiling the whole bike ride.

I had gone into the race wanting to finish under 2 hours, but didn't get my hopes up so I didn't get disapointed at the end. Well near the end of my bike section I realized I had a great chance at beating 2 hours and then some, so I kicked it up into high gear even though my legs were killing me and I knew I had to run another 1.5 miles. I got off my bike and had to walk a bit to regain my walking legs and then was able to find some kind of a grove for the last bit.

My final time was 1:40:00 flat!! When I crossed the finish line I almost started crying I was so proud of myself! I am pretty hard on myself most of the time and don't let myself enjoy a lot of stuff. So the fact that I crushed the time I had set for myself was enough to let me celebrate!

My only sad point was that there wasn't anyone waiting at the finish line, but hopefully I can keep doing these races when I move back home and I know that there will always be a clan of Washburn's cheering me on to the end!

Snow Canyon

This was the image that was on my finisher medal!

Senior Time

So, today marks a great day for me...I have become a Senior level staff at Second Nature Entrada! You start as you may know as an intern, then progress to level 1, then eventually level 2, which is where you spend most of your time. After you go through Senior Development so that you can try it out as a senior with a "real" senior there with you. After they feel like you have done enough to get through that, you take a test and are officially a Senior! That just means you are the head staff in a staff team that works with a group, so basically you are in charge and legally where the buck stops, so a lot of responsibility is placed on you at that point. So, after starting as an intern that was not gauranteed a position, I have made it a year and a half later to become a Senior! It is hard to explain how excited I am to be able to be a senior with this company that I love and respect. And another cool thing is that there are only 3 female seniors right now and the other two happen to be my best friends Jess and Jp! So, I'm excited for my first week as a senior even though it is only going to be a half week because I am taking some vacation time for the Super Bowl and headed to Detroit!!! I am excited for a break from hard work and the snow, and we are supposed to get dumped on the day I leave the field!! Here's hopping I make it out!!